Monster-in-law?

This came from a frantic friend - "My R is 11 months old and I want to wean him. My in-laws are visiting soon and I am really scared. He refused a bottle when he was about 2 months old, and my mother-in-law told me then that babies who don't drink form a bottle don't drink milk once they stop breastfeeding. Well R won't take a bottle then and I didn't try terribly hard because I wanted to keep breastfeeding. My mother-in-law is going to give me the "I told you so" look because for sure because my son won't drink milk from a cup. Help!"

And you know the advice she was most commonly given. To say "I and my husband are doing the best for our child, and we are happy that he was breastfed for a year. We will find a solution to the milk issue. Thank you very much."

Let me translate this into what the mother-in-law will hear "Mind your own business, and stay out of our lives. F@$# Off"

Why say such alienating things? She isn't some acquaintance you ran into at the mall who objected to your child sucking his thumb. She is your husband's mother, the woman who raised him.

Why the fear of mother-in-law? Why the desire to appear "right" in front of her? What is wrong with saying, "mom, I guess you were right. R doesn't drink milk from a cup. Help me fix it now." and saying this even when you know that the bottle & milk connection is old wives' tale. Why do we let useless egos destroy our relationship with our child's grandparents, who will give our child more unconditional love than we, the parents, ever have time for?

I probably sound very old-fashioned, and yes, you have the right to your independence and making your own decisions, and the modern woman doesn't get bossed over by her mother-in-law. But it doesn't hurt to have a non-combative relationship with someone we will see off and on for the next 20 years, no? Can't we handle one "I told you so" look for that?