Raising kids in a non-native environment while constantly worrying about striking the right balance.
Monday, October 12, 2009
The pledge
There has been an ongoing effort by atheists to remove the word God from the statement "one nation under God" in the pledge of allegiance. I think they have been going about it all wrong by stressing the separation of church and state. What they should use is "truth in advertising" laws and request that we replace the word "God" by "Media". That is what we are - one nation under media.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Karwachauth
Today is Karwachauth, the holiday when Hindu women fast until moonrise for the longevity of their husbands. In a certain sense the holiday is antiquated, anti-feminist and enforces the subservience of women in the Hindu culture especially if you read this op-ed in New York Times. I think even my grandfather waited for my grandma on Karwachauth, so the author's family seems to be in a whole different century altogether.
The question arises why do I, a seemingly modern progressive woman, continue to observe this holiday every year – going without food or water for an entire day to honor my husband. I used to ask myself this question through hunger pangs every year. Do I really believe the stories retold every year on this holiday about how bad fate befell a woman who unwittingly had a sip of water when mistaking a lamp in a tree for the moon, and hence breaking her fast before the scheduled time? I don’t think so. Do I think that the life of a woman without a husband is no life at all, and hence must continue to pray that I die before him? Umm no.
I have a deep respect for traditions, and I am wary of doing away with one too easily without first understanding its far-reaching roots. That was the reason I started observing this fast and a few others – simply because my mother used to. Most fasting holidays have a whole ceremony centered on breaking the fast. When the time comes, you don’t just fall upon the food but first have to go through a few rituals. Over time I have come to realize that this waiting for food, even when you are allowed to eat, takes the focus away from food on a fasting day and makes you mindful of why you were fasting in the first place. And so tonight, as I make my offerings to the moon, and go through the little rituals along with my husband before sitting down to have a meal, I will remember and honor the person I have decided to spend my life with, and be mindful of the ups and downs of the journey a marriage is. It being one of the most important relationships in our life, it is no surprise that the prescribed fast for it is one of the hardest. I am glad tradition forces me to set aside a day to reflect on this.
The question arises why do I, a seemingly modern progressive woman, continue to observe this holiday every year – going without food or water for an entire day to honor my husband. I used to ask myself this question through hunger pangs every year. Do I really believe the stories retold every year on this holiday about how bad fate befell a woman who unwittingly had a sip of water when mistaking a lamp in a tree for the moon, and hence breaking her fast before the scheduled time? I don’t think so. Do I think that the life of a woman without a husband is no life at all, and hence must continue to pray that I die before him? Umm no.
I have a deep respect for traditions, and I am wary of doing away with one too easily without first understanding its far-reaching roots. That was the reason I started observing this fast and a few others – simply because my mother used to. Most fasting holidays have a whole ceremony centered on breaking the fast. When the time comes, you don’t just fall upon the food but first have to go through a few rituals. Over time I have come to realize that this waiting for food, even when you are allowed to eat, takes the focus away from food on a fasting day and makes you mindful of why you were fasting in the first place. And so tonight, as I make my offerings to the moon, and go through the little rituals along with my husband before sitting down to have a meal, I will remember and honor the person I have decided to spend my life with, and be mindful of the ups and downs of the journey a marriage is. It being one of the most important relationships in our life, it is no surprise that the prescribed fast for it is one of the hardest. I am glad tradition forces me to set aside a day to reflect on this.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Fox News
This is not really related to parenting, but has been on my mind of late. It goes back to what I said in an older post that we seem to give the most attention to people who shout or otherwise behave badly. We mothers are guilty of giving more attention to the whiny, cranky child at the expense of the calm easy-going one. The squeaky wheel gets the oil, I know, and I am sure there is some survival-of-the-fittest theory behind it.
The same thing is now happening in the media. The nuts on Fox News such as Beck and Hannity, and the protesters they incite seem to be getting all the media attention. Other networks, congressmen, even the president seem compelled to respond to these idiots and their ridiculous biased rants. What this attention given to Fox results in is that whatever the wing-nuts decide to get mad about becomes the topic de jour in our national conversation. Fox News claims that more people watch Fox news than any other news on TV. They are probably right, but I also suspect that those who watch that network are the only people FOX has influence on. Everybody else is put off by them. David Brooks agreed with that in his op-ed today. I particulary like how Joe Gandelman framed it "Rage and attack mode are OK for those who already agree with you, but they don’t win over those who are pondering both sides and don’t like what they see on either of them." Judith Warner said something similar about Michael Moore in her op-ed as well.
People who don’t watch Fox News probably don’t get their news from TV anyway so they are not watching any other show either which explains Fox’s numbers. If you are sane enough to think Fox News is far from "Fair and Balanced", then I bet you are capable of thinking for yourself and you can easily see that CNN is equally ridiculous, and Olberman’s rants don’t sway you either. So here is my appeal to thinking people – can we ignore Fox News just as we would a tantrum-throwing child?
The same thing is now happening in the media. The nuts on Fox News such as Beck and Hannity, and the protesters they incite seem to be getting all the media attention. Other networks, congressmen, even the president seem compelled to respond to these idiots and their ridiculous biased rants. What this attention given to Fox results in is that whatever the wing-nuts decide to get mad about becomes the topic de jour in our national conversation. Fox News claims that more people watch Fox news than any other news on TV. They are probably right, but I also suspect that those who watch that network are the only people FOX has influence on. Everybody else is put off by them. David Brooks agreed with that in his op-ed today. I particulary like how Joe Gandelman framed it "Rage and attack mode are OK for those who already agree with you, but they don’t win over those who are pondering both sides and don’t like what they see on either of them." Judith Warner said something similar about Michael Moore in her op-ed as well.
People who don’t watch Fox News probably don’t get their news from TV anyway so they are not watching any other show either which explains Fox’s numbers. If you are sane enough to think Fox News is far from "Fair and Balanced", then I bet you are capable of thinking for yourself and you can easily see that CNN is equally ridiculous, and Olberman’s rants don’t sway you either. So here is my appeal to thinking people – can we ignore Fox News just as we would a tantrum-throwing child?
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