Disappointments

I was at child's birthday party and it was pretty standard. There were party games, some kid won but all kids got prizes so nobody got to feel special and nobody got hurt. In a way it is good that we are not instilling this winning and losing streak in little kids. I grew up in an ultra-competitive environment and I don't think that was healthy at all.

On the other hand I think that this "everybody wins" attitude is setting up our kids to never learn how to handle disappointment. As parents we need to teach our kids that bad things happen, we feel hurt but that is not the end of the world and life goes on. In real life, somebody, in fact, wins and somebody loses, and kids can learn that in birthday party games where the stakes are low, and the hurt small. Unless they go through little disappointments, they will never know how to handle them and also that this is a part of life.

Yesterday we got my daughter's favorite meal - McDonald's. After we got home we realized that a mistake was made in the order - not only did she not get a "girl" toy, they gave her the wrong food. She, of course, collapsed at the table crying and my first instinct was to say "let's go back and get this order sorted out." It wouldn't have been a big deal as we had no other plans that evening and not far to drive. Then I thought maybe here is a lesson to be learned - in checking your order and in learning to "make do". She cried, and that was very sad, but then she recovered and it wasn't so bad after all. Tough love, huh!