I am seeing myriad reactions from people around me about Michael Jackson’s death. There are people who grew up on his music and are on the verge of tears and then there are others who say “good riddance” to a freak . Yes, he did finally descend into inexplicable behavior but does that in anyway undermine his music and its appeal?
On a similar note we have the recent saga of the South Carolina Governor – a rising star in GOP, an independent thinker, a sharp politician and what not, until he had an affair and acted in a somewhat weird manner to hide that affair. Now he is nothing.
I haven’t lived in any other society for my adult life so do not have a perspective on this, but I wonder if it is only US society that holds its public figures to such high standards of behavior. An idolizing to such an extent that the slightest misstep derails everything they might have achieved in life, and strips them of all other qualities they posses. Is there no room for regular flawed humans in public life?
I am reminded of something I read on religion once. Islam and most Evangelical forms of Christianity in the US have a lot in common. They are new religions, still in their teens, full of hope and ideals, and not yet tempered by missteps, questions from within and attacks form the outside. The morality is absolute and the word of religious texts is literal with no room for interpretation. That or as I blogged before, an immigrant's values are stuck in the times he left his native country. Since the US population is all immigrants, maybe that explains the wide-spread prudishness.
The thoughts of Jacko beg another question. With the examples of Michael Jackson, Heath Ledger, Britney Spears and Lindsey Lohan all around us, what is it that still prompts parents to push their children to be ‘stars’?
Raising kids in a non-native environment while constantly worrying about striking the right balance.
5 comments:
i think parents want children to be stars, not in their childhood necessarily but to be accomplished humans when they grow up. And the training for any accomplishment when started young, bears the most fruit. Emotional maturity, a spiritual side to life has to be taught along, so people learn to accept what cannot be changed(MJ's plastic surgery). AR Rahmans seems to be a realized soul in that sense, especially since his father passed away at a young age, he has put his physical and mental health as top a priority as producing music. And this relates to the other post you wrote once, about religion being taught to children, that spiritual side to life is so essential, values and manners that we teach in young children are not necessarily held up when we become adults or even by us, sometimes. We become upset when another child mistreats our own, instead of using it as a teaching point, we blame that child's parent and him for his misbehaviour. So keeping in line with spirit, a lot of things can be achieved without having to pay such a high price as one's life. P.S. I am a huge fan of Michaels till my 20s, after which i've heard only my children's cries !!. But that said, everyone including me feel so bad that he is not here to see how the world is outpouring love. So my request to all is, dont wait till it is too late to be nice to your family, friends, inlaws.. now is the time to show some love, not after they've gone or worst yet , we've gone !! Show some love ya'll !!
Mommy Dearest,
My remark was more concerning 'child stars' such as Britney Spears and MJ. Becoming a star when you are an adult is just fine, because one hopes by then there is some maturity to handle it. Another example is Shreya Ghoshal - she was winning TV singing shows since she was a little girl, but didn't start singing commercially until she was older. Of course, we know nothing about her as a person but in most public appearances she seems poised and seems to be handling herself and fame just fine.
I agree about ur opinion on what prompts parents to push their children to be stars. And these days in India, we see popular shows like Sa Re Ga Ma Pa where winning the competition seems to be the top most priority for the children and the parents! The children forget to enjoy the singing. Not just that, they forget to appreciate their peers who are singing, simply because they are competing with them. I don't know what kind of culture the Indian media is promoting. In my opinion, enjoying ones childhood and what one does during childhood has a lot to do with how emotionally mature someone becomes. When children forget to enjoy childhood and do things for the sake of competition and pleasing others, things can get very dicey.
I don't see an overindulgence in the American media (maybe I'm not looking enough :)) about children competing with each other. However, the spelling bee this year did catch my eye. Among the final five, one Indian girl lost after a little while. She was inconsolable. It was quite annoying for me to see her cry - I was more annoyed at her parents. What kind of expectations they had placed on her daughter! To me, winning a competition means very little. And that too in a spelling bee, which requires rote recall of spellings and maybe some phonetic skills. But it seemed everything to that child and her parents :(.
well said AM, your posts as always, are thought provoking !!
Gayathri,
I agree with you that kids are exposed to more competitions in India. Even simple social gatherings to celebrate a holiday at a club will have a recitation competition for kids or something like that. School is much more competitive too.
One advantage of this is that kids do learn that in real life you lose some and win some, and can handle setbacks better. Also, it can spur kids to push a little bit harder and they learn to reach for goals which I think is a very important skill for success in life.
On the other hand constant competition in school can rob the joy of learning and often prevents kids from truly discovering what they enjoy. Instead they are just trying to win the race. The worst outcome, in my opinion of this is that some kids get branded 'losers' very early in life and the label sticks as they don't win the early childhood competitions.
I wonder if this Indian competitive mentality is carried to the US because I see many Indian kids participate in the Spelling Bee competitions.
Although I don't see his kind of competitions in the US, there are enough parents pushing their kids - in sports or performance arts.
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