A continuous civilization

I have been watching the HBO/BBC series Rome. I did not study Roman history or culture in school so I am thoroughly enjoying it. I know a lot of it is drama and cannot be considered authentic history, but it does have some factual basis. Having studied Indian history in some detail, I am struck by how similar to Indian culture ancient Rome seems. Any number of ancient Indian kings, queens and gods could be seamlessly substituted in the stories and it would still ring true. For one there is the religion - the numerous gods, and the little altars in every home; the style of worship ranging from specialized-deities to the revenge-mandalas, seeking Gods to bless everything and the blood-rituals. Then there is the style of clothes and the decor. There is also the clear demarcation between the nobility and the "plebs" and the decadent luxury of the rich. And although current India is sexually-repressed, we know from ancient books and temple carvings that this is a fairly modern happening. The only difference is that the Roman culture ended after advent of Christianity, whereas the Indian one survived and kept evolving; kept incorporating ideas and rituals from all the invaders that came through. It is becoming even clearer why India has been referred to as a "continuous civilization".

All this has given rise to a storm of thoughts and I am sure I will be writing more posts about this.

Karwachauth

Today is Karwachauth, the holiday when Hindu women fast until moonrise for the longevity of their husbands. In a certain sense the holiday is antiquated, anti-feminist and enforces the subservience of women in the Hindu culture especially if you read this op-ed in New York Times. I think even my grandfather waited for my grandma on Karwachauth, so the author's family seems to be in a whole different century altogether.

The question arises why do I, a seemingly modern progressive woman, continue to observe this holiday every year – going without food or water for an entire day to honor my husband. I used to ask myself this question through hunger pangs every year. Do I really believe the stories retold every year on this holiday about how bad fate befell a woman who unwittingly had a sip of water when mistaking a lamp in a tree for the moon, and hence breaking her fast before the scheduled time? I don’t think so. Do I think that the life of a woman without a husband is no life at all, and hence must continue to pray that I die before him? Umm no.

I have a deep respect for traditions, and I am wary of doing away with one too easily without first understanding its far-reaching roots. That was the reason I started observing this fast and a few others – simply because my mother used to. Most fasting holidays have a whole ceremony centered on breaking the fast. When the time comes, you don’t just fall upon the food but first have to go through a few rituals. Over time I have come to realize that this waiting for food, even when you are allowed to eat, takes the focus away from food on a fasting day and makes you mindful of why you were fasting in the first place. And so tonight, as I make my offerings to the moon, and go through the little rituals along with my husband before sitting down to have a meal, I will remember and honor the person I have decided to spend my life with, and be mindful of the ups and downs of the journey a marriage is. It being one of the most important relationships in our life, it is no surprise that the prescribed fast for it is one of the hardest. I am glad tradition forces me to set aside a day to reflect on this.

Sunday School

"It is worthy of remark that a belief constantly inculcated during the early years of life, while the brain is impressible, appears to acquire almost the nature of an instinct; and the very essence of an instinct is that it is followed independently of reason," Charles Darwin wrote in "The Descent of Man."

Judith Warner quoted this in NY Times today and it once again got me thinking about religious education of my children. In my opinion a strong sense of one’s roots is important for growing up a mature adult. A tree with strong roots can stand up to strong winds, and may twist with the wind, but doesn’t easily lose its ground. This is illustrated very well by the Rumspringa tradition of the Amish. My children will have the freedom to rebel, but they do need to know what they are rebelling against. Just as, to be able to improvise in music, you first need to learn the classical form, if the girls choose to not be Hindus when they grow up, it should come from an understanding of the religion and not because they are embarrassed by the caricatures of it in the western media.

Herein lies my dilemma. Neither my husband nor I am overtly religious, and vary of committing our children to formal religious education. However, we are definitely spiritual and consider ourselves Hindus. That is to say that we do not take religious teachings literally but consider them abstractions or “storification” of concepts. I don’t believe that there is, in flesh and blood, a God of destruction, Shiva, who lives on a mountain in the Himalayas with his wife, the goddess of strength, and their son, the lord of auspicious beginnings. However, I do think that this is a way to explain the concept that whatever is created eventually dies, and post that destruction you need to partner with strength to create a new beginning.

I cannot deny that my religion is closely tied to my culture which I really value, and believe it is impossible to separate one form the other. Growing up Hindu in India, one doesn’t need to undergo formal religious instruction in the form of Sunday School to understand one’s religion. Hinduism is a way of life and is not tied to overt practices such as regularly visiting the temple or praying. My children are not growing up in that culture, and because we do not indulge in overt practices, they are growing up in ignorance of their roots which is unacceptable to me. I Think it might be time to enroll them in formal Hindu religious instruction. I might disagree with what they teach there, but at least it will help start a conversation about religion in the house.

Religion does poison everything

I came across this story in the New York Times about girls being attacked in a college town in India for visiting a bar. That college town is ‘my’ college town so the story hits close to home and brings back memories of somehow being made to feel guilty because you got molested – “Well, why were you out after dark? Probably to meet your boyfriend. Heh heh” Even if that is the truth, how does that give anybody the right to molest a woman?

For all the globalization in India, the only progress seems to have happened there is in the consumer culture – there is more stuff to buy and fancier pubs to visit. The reverse logic of blaming women for the crimes committed against them and that of suppressing women continues. Rapists are not brought to justice, and most women are still scared of going to the police to report a crime. The political parties continue the ‘talibanization’ of the culture by recruiting a moral police – a way for insignificant men to feel powerful. Women drinking in a bar is against the 'culture', but, pray, tell me what kind of culture condones assaulting women? No wonder these men call themselves 'Lord Ram's army', the very same Ram who went to great lengths to rescue his wife from a kidnapper, and then denounced her and eventually abandoned her in a jungle while she was pregnant, because she had been with another man, namely, the kidnapper. It was all about Ram's honor - when rescuing his wife and when abandoning her. By the way another traditional name for Ram is 'Best among men'. Sigh. As Christopher Hitchens says – religion does poison everything.

Spirituality

I have struggled with my own faith and spirituality for a long time. In a way I am an atheist, in that I do not believe in an external all powerful God who sits in judgment upon us. And yet there is a deep need for spirituality in me, a desire to connect with something supreme or divine that I cannot explain. I consider myself a Hindu and have immense respect for yogic philosophies. I have gone through life flip-flopping in limbo, not knowing where I quite stand. Never feeling I could sit and pray to an idol of Krishna but unable to completely renounce the Gods.

So it must be divine intervention that my friend D handed me two book last month - The Secret and Eat Pray Love saying "you might like these". I don't think she has any ideas of my struggles but after reading these books everything is clear to me. I finally know where I stand with my spirituality and beliefs. My scientific and spiritual sides are finally in harmony. The irony is not lost on me that what happened here is exactly what the book The Secret said - if you want something and focus on it, the universe will shift itself to get it to you.

Thank you D.

ps: The Secret

By the way, I think a better title for this book will be "Religion for atheists: How to pray and offer gratitude without invoking God's name".

We are human. We want something or the other in life and so it is given that there will be people who will try to teach us how to get what we want. As I see it, there are two aspects of this. One is learning how to get what you want that this type of books try to teach you. However, the second and more important is knowing what it is that you really want from life. To sit down and think, and go the depths of your soul. Face yourself, your inadequacies and fears. Then ask. But that doesn't sell books or consumer goods off the shelves of super stores, does it?

Book Review - The Secret

I read the book because I have heard about it, and a friend kindly loaned it to me, because I don't buy books that I don't intend to keep forever. It gets mentioned in many places and I do try to stay up-to-date with some of the pop-culture just so that I know what everybody is talking about. If you haven't heard, it is a self-help book that declares that "The Secret" is a law of attraction that successful people have known since ages and the author is bringing it to the commoners. And what is the big secret, this immutable law of the universe - Like attracts like. Hence you will get what you think about, because your thoughts will attract it to you. You have to think positive, think about what you want from life, and not what you don't want, and really believe that the universe is abundant enough to give you whatever it is that you want, and you will get it.

I am intrigued, amused, shocked and a little bit angered by the book. I buy the whole "think positive" idea. I completely agree that how your life, your day and your relationships turn out depends a little on luck and a lot on attitude. There is no denying it. But don't go using physics to explain this, especially if you have never studied physics in school, as the author claims, because it makes what you say ridiculous right there. The basic law of physics is that likes repel, not attract. Little kids do the experiment in preschool, with two magnets. If you are selling philosophy, just sell philosophy. Don't go bringing science into it.

Secondly, the book could have been named "Aham Brahma" (I am Brahma), the chant from Hindu scriptures. That is what the book is talking about. You should see yourself, and everything else in the universe, not as a physical entity, but a mass of energy (or spirit, or soul, or Brahma, or God for that matter, or whatever you want to name it) that is connected to the rest of the energy of the universe. Principal of conversation of energy says that the amount of energy in the universe never changes, it is only converted from one form to another, and The Bhagvad Gita states that "nobody ever dies". By controlling your energy, you in effect, control the universe. The Upanishad, ancient Hindu texts, say exactly that. The practices of various kinds of yoga are specifically designed to control the energy within you. It angers me that Hindu teachings are thus exploited, without giving credit where credit is due. The Hindu philosophy also states that once you connect with the "Brahma", that is you stop seeing yourself as a physical entity separate from the rest of the universe, you will attain great peace because you have freed yourself from material needs and desires. Nirvana! Hence, I find it immensely amusing that "The Secret" tells you to do all this so that you can have the fancy houses and cars that you always wanted! Yeah baby! Consume.....