Twilight revisited

I have written about the creepy aspect of this book before, but there is another part that has been bothering me even more over time, especially because the book is targeted at teens. Twilight is once again a story romanticizing the "bad boy". Edward Cullen, the hero of the book is charming, handsome, controlling and really dangerous. He could just crush Bella, the heroin to death, if he wasn't careful. He is, of course a vampire, so there are other ways he can hurt Bella too. He stops himself from hurting his lady-love by sheer exercise of extreme self-control, because he loves her passionately and wouldn't dream of hurting her. We all know too well that in such relationships, either the self-control or the love eventually falls by the wayside and the girl gets hurt.

Young girls in their formative years, and I have seen 10-11 year olds reading this book, can really get caught up and admire the father-figurish Cullen who protects and controls Bella's life. The parents of these girls however need to talk to their daughters about the inherent dangers of such relationships in real life, and how the dangerous and controlling types might not be the best choice for a partner. Otherwise the Rhiannas of tomorrow will keep going out with Chris Browns because we keep glorifying the "bad boys" and say nothing about young women making bad choices.

Is reading good?

I recently finished reading the book Twilight, the first book in an extremely popular series about a romance between a vampire and a teenage girl. I hated the book. There is the usual problem systemic of the romance novel genre - weak plot and average writing. However, I also found the book quite disturbing. The vampire, although he looks like a teenager, is in fact almost 100 years old. His body hasn’t aged but his mind does have all that experience, and there he is – romancing this 17 year old girl. Not only that, he comes to her room to watch her sleep without her knowing this. To me this was not romantic, but quite creepy. This brings up two issues in my mind.

First is the concept of romance itself. I will admit that romance has never been my genre. In high school, a lot of girls used to read these romance novels, so I tried some too. Most of these were terrible. It is not that I am too cynical to believe in love or romance, I just don’t buy the version that these books try to peddle. I can enjoy books with love stories - I just require that they be well written with interesting and complex characters. Somebody once said that Women only love "love" i.e. women don’t fall in love with a person but with the fact that, that person loves them. That might explain the popularity of romance novels among women. But doesn’t that just continue to perpetrate the delusion?

The second issue is whether I would let my daughter read a book such as Twilight. I have often been presented with the argument that whatever gets a child to read is good enough. Parents of children who are on the internet all the time say “Well at least she is reading!”. But I wonder - does reading just for the sake of reading provide any value once we are beyond the stage of teaching a child how to read? Presumably a teenager knows how to read, so should her habit of reading romance novels be encouraged using the argument "at least she is reading”. Aren’t we forgetting why reading is glorified in the first place? Reading books is useful because it expands one’s horizons and encourages new ideas. That is why we want children to read. Do romance novels serve that purpose? To me it seems like they contract rather than expand the mind. So should we let children read anything, just because they are reading?

Jhumpa Lahiri

I am on my second book by Lahiri, and am struck by how depressing her books are. Unaccustomed Earth is a collection of short stories, so we get to see many of her characters and they all seem to be living these sad, hopeless lives, with no joy in them. The immigrant parents inevitably have an arranged marriage with no bond between them, the mothers always cooking and the fathers busy with their jobs, clinging by a frayed thread to their roots in India. The children spend their lives in misery, straddling the two worlds. Nobody seems to have a purpose or any kind of optimism. Being an immigrant myself, this really bites. I have enough perspective to see that my life is not necessarily like the parents of most of Lahiri's characters. It just might be because I am from a different generation than what her own parents might have been from. It is obvious that her characters have all come out of her own life - is that really the shared story of first generation Indian Americans? Are my children doomed to lead such hopeless, torn, divided lives - trying to break free from their parents, yet never quite assimilating into the life in the US? I am thinking of abandoing the book, because I have been completely depressed since I started reading it.

ps: The Secret

By the way, I think a better title for this book will be "Religion for atheists: How to pray and offer gratitude without invoking God's name".

We are human. We want something or the other in life and so it is given that there will be people who will try to teach us how to get what we want. As I see it, there are two aspects of this. One is learning how to get what you want that this type of books try to teach you. However, the second and more important is knowing what it is that you really want from life. To sit down and think, and go the depths of your soul. Face yourself, your inadequacies and fears. Then ask. But that doesn't sell books or consumer goods off the shelves of super stores, does it?

Book Review - The Secret

I read the book because I have heard about it, and a friend kindly loaned it to me, because I don't buy books that I don't intend to keep forever. It gets mentioned in many places and I do try to stay up-to-date with some of the pop-culture just so that I know what everybody is talking about. If you haven't heard, it is a self-help book that declares that "The Secret" is a law of attraction that successful people have known since ages and the author is bringing it to the commoners. And what is the big secret, this immutable law of the universe - Like attracts like. Hence you will get what you think about, because your thoughts will attract it to you. You have to think positive, think about what you want from life, and not what you don't want, and really believe that the universe is abundant enough to give you whatever it is that you want, and you will get it.

I am intrigued, amused, shocked and a little bit angered by the book. I buy the whole "think positive" idea. I completely agree that how your life, your day and your relationships turn out depends a little on luck and a lot on attitude. There is no denying it. But don't go using physics to explain this, especially if you have never studied physics in school, as the author claims, because it makes what you say ridiculous right there. The basic law of physics is that likes repel, not attract. Little kids do the experiment in preschool, with two magnets. If you are selling philosophy, just sell philosophy. Don't go bringing science into it.

Secondly, the book could have been named "Aham Brahma" (I am Brahma), the chant from Hindu scriptures. That is what the book is talking about. You should see yourself, and everything else in the universe, not as a physical entity, but a mass of energy (or spirit, or soul, or Brahma, or God for that matter, or whatever you want to name it) that is connected to the rest of the energy of the universe. Principal of conversation of energy says that the amount of energy in the universe never changes, it is only converted from one form to another, and The Bhagvad Gita states that "nobody ever dies". By controlling your energy, you in effect, control the universe. The Upanishad, ancient Hindu texts, say exactly that. The practices of various kinds of yoga are specifically designed to control the energy within you. It angers me that Hindu teachings are thus exploited, without giving credit where credit is due. The Hindu philosophy also states that once you connect with the "Brahma", that is you stop seeing yourself as a physical entity separate from the rest of the universe, you will attain great peace because you have freed yourself from material needs and desires. Nirvana! Hence, I find it immensely amusing that "The Secret" tells you to do all this so that you can have the fancy houses and cars that you always wanted! Yeah baby! Consume.....

Review of Operating Instructions

I finished the book, in under ten days! I can't believe it. With life the way it is, it usually takes me weeks, even months for one book. I have started reading her 'Bird by Bird' and am enjoying it as well.

The book flowed like water. We also know that water cut the Grand Canyon. It was so easy to read and still so profound. I can completely relate to the colic, of having love for your child and yet wanting to do something very bad, and feeling horrible for having those feelings. I could also relate to the "Please let Sam outlive me" chain of thought. I have it often, and it always makes me cry.

I really enjoyed her sense of humor. I have been through similar moments with my babies, and I wish I had read the book then so I could enjoy them through her lens. A lot of specifics escape me now, and there is this little orange glow inside my head where the book is stored.

I am amazed how "confessional" (in her own words) she is. She admits to stuff about herself and others that I never would. She talks about having this worm inside that needs to be fed. I have known that worm too. I also felt very jealous of her "tribe", people she could lean so completely on, for help and support. I would like a tribe, but what little I have is scattered all over the globe.

One thing I couldn't relate to was her relationship with God. It doesn't bother me that she has faith, but because I don't, at least not the kind she has, I couldn't relate to the moments when she describes feeling the presence of God.

Anne Lamott and reading

It seems to me that every one of my American friends have mentioned Anne Lamott at least once to me. Her name invariably comes up in conversations about writing or books or parenting. I finally decided that I might as well read something by her, and have checked out the first book I came across in the library. I have only read a few pages, and I am already enjoying her sense of humor. I will keep going.

With kids, job, housework and all the other trappings of life, it often takes me at least a month, if not more, to finish a book. I am still glad that I find a few moments every day to read. I so enjoy it.