I, me and myself

In a comment to my last post, my friend Valerie asked "I am curious what helped *you,* personally, to make it through the Indian educational system as a thoughtful person rather than turning into a mindless TV-watching robot"

If I didn't know Valerie better, I would have said she was mocking me but knowing her, I know she is asking a genuine question. I am well aware that I generalize, and paint all Indians with the same brushstroke, but I am a part of them, and I know they are such wonderful people and I want so much more for them - more happiness, more satisfaction, more wisdom, and hence I nag.

There is a justification I commonly hear as people make the same choices for their children, as their own parents made for them - I was raised this way and I turned out to be fine, so I will do the same. I, in fact, continue to think that I did not turn out fine at all and that is what makes me want to do something different. My parents did not push me to over-achieve but I was ambitious and competitive so I went for it anyway, and the whole system was designed to reward that. I have a lot of interests but no well-developed hobby because there was no time outside of academics to develop it. Even in my studies, I acquired knowledge to pass exams with high scores, but did not necessarily learn anything. I spent my youth chasing degrees and growth at jobs, and did not take time to experiment with alternative options. Now that I want to do something different, I find I am too old, with many responsibilities and no appetite for risk. This has left a hollow space inside me, that I do not want my kids to have when they are my age.

So the answer to your question, Valerie, is that my own sense of inadequacy is what drives me to chart out a different path for my children. And I don't want much TV because it leaves an even bigger hollow space in my time - I can spend an hour playing tennis or watching TV, and the former is so much more satisfying that it is an easy choice.

Globalization of the wrong kind

I was recently reading an article about a scandal in an Indian cricket league (known as IPL) involving corruption and politics at the highest levels. Political corruption is nothing new for India but what shocked me was the moniker this scandal got from the Indian media - "IPL-gate". India has a long and glorious history of corruption in both politics and cricket from which we could have garnered lovely names for this scandal and yet, the media chose to name this scandal the way America names its - by adding the 'gate' suffix! I am still trying to understand this. Is this because creativity sorely lacks in most Indian "creative" fields such as writing and music, as I have lamented before? or is it because Indians find it hard to appreciate anything Indian despite an illustrious history. (I have a theory about it that I'll save for another post.) The horrific Mumbai terrorist attack was called "India's 9/11" by the media. Even more troubling to me because in India dates are written in the dd/mm/yy format so if the journalists were being original they would have at least called it "India's 11/9". The same goes for the Satyam Computers scandal. That was labeled as "India's Enron". Intentional or not, it does seem like a cultural colonization of India is in progress and it is voluntarily being encouraged by Indians. Nothing is good enough, unless it can compare to America.

Lessons of 3 idiots, really?

I recently saw an Indian movie called 3 Idiots, that has been a big hit in India and among the Indian diaspora abroad. The movie is a critique of an aspect of Indian society that I had mentioned in an earlier post - the incessant pressure on young people from every aspect of the society to get ahead, at the expense of their own dreams and aspirations. The film is mostly enjoyable because the funny parts balance out the preachy parts. All of a sudden Indians are talking about this. Every day I see chain emails with subjects such as "Lessons from 3 Idiots." I am happy that this film has started a national conversation on the topic, but what I am really surprised by is that Indians are behaving as if until they saw this movie, it had never occurred to them that the academic system put too much pressure on young people.

However, what the film presents is a very simplistic solution "let education institutions expand minds and let young people pursue their dreams". It is easy to say this but to turn into a reality, it needs support from many components of the society.

A person can freely pursue her dreams only if she is also given the freedom to fail, and opportunities to start over. This the Indian society seriously lacks. Failure is viewed harshly and opportunities to start over are non-existent. There are age-restrictions on everything from college admissions to job applications. Take the example of one of the characters in the film who wants to become a wildlife photographer rather than an engineer, and viola he becomes immensely successful at it. What if he didn't? What if after pursuing photography for 5-10 years he realized that he really should have pursued engineering - no college in India would take him. The seeds of a passion need nourishment to turn into a flourishing tree. Somebody interested in wildlife photography would need to feed their passion by reading magazines such as National Geographic to learn more about the possibilities. Yet, until about 10 years ago a National Geographic magazine was not only unaffordable for the average Indian middle class but also unavailable. There wasn't any awareness either - growing up, I could count on one hand the career options I thought were available to me.

With the boom in economy of the last few years there are a lot more opportunities in modern India, and with the advent of the internet a lot more awareness. There still aren't any well-stocked public libraries that you could access for resources. Same goes for sports. There are no junior sports leagues, and unless your parents can afford to put you in some special training lessons, there aren't any opportunities to learn even if sports are your passion. While I was growing up participation in sports was looked down upon, and most children were encouraged to study rather than waste time playing.

And still the society has no appreciation for originality or creativity. Say, you were artistic and wanted to pursue art. Your creativity would have been destroyed by the time you got to middle school because the art teachers, if you were fortunate to have any, would have insisted you do things a certain way, and only the children who could produce an exact replica of some painting in a book would be considered good artists. What any "art lesson" in India would teach you is skill or craftsmanship, but it would not let you expand your creativity. Most India musicians become very skilled at their craft by rigorous practice, but are they creative?

This happens to be the main reason that holds me back when I consider moving back to India. Everybody praises the education system, and how the curriculum there is much advanced. I'd rather have a somewhat inferior system, but one that encourages exploration and provides room for failures and fresh starts.

A continuous civilization

I have been watching the HBO/BBC series Rome. I did not study Roman history or culture in school so I am thoroughly enjoying it. I know a lot of it is drama and cannot be considered authentic history, but it does have some factual basis. Having studied Indian history in some detail, I am struck by how similar to Indian culture ancient Rome seems. Any number of ancient Indian kings, queens and gods could be seamlessly substituted in the stories and it would still ring true. For one there is the religion - the numerous gods, and the little altars in every home; the style of worship ranging from specialized-deities to the revenge-mandalas, seeking Gods to bless everything and the blood-rituals. Then there is the style of clothes and the decor. There is also the clear demarcation between the nobility and the "plebs" and the decadent luxury of the rich. And although current India is sexually-repressed, we know from ancient books and temple carvings that this is a fairly modern happening. The only difference is that the Roman culture ended after advent of Christianity, whereas the Indian one survived and kept evolving; kept incorporating ideas and rituals from all the invaders that came through. It is becoming even clearer why India has been referred to as a "continuous civilization".

All this has given rise to a storm of thoughts and I am sure I will be writing more posts about this.

Survival of the Fittest

I just saw this video on YouTube, and it got me wondering why is it that we don’t see a lot of original art coming out of India. India has a large population and an ancient tradition of classical forms of art, and yet you have to really strain hard to think of original artists – A. R. Rahman, M. F. Hussein and that’s it! I cannot even imagine a performance like this in “India’s got talent”. India has a huge film and music industry, yet most of the films are rehashed and adapted Hollywood scripts. Fittingly, there is no award distinguishing between adapted and original screenplay in the Indian "Oscars". The music directors for these movies are too smart to plagiarize from popular songs from big artists so they look for “inspiration” in smaller markets such as Turkey and Thailand and lift music from there.

This brings me to an article I read today about how babies can very quickly internalize the concept of probability and discover new mechanisms, just by exploring. The article stresses, however, that this type of learning best happens when babies are given freedom to explore and experiment on their own. Most babies and young children in India do not get this freedom and I think this is what ends up in stilted creativity as they grow older.

Anybody growing up in a country as populous as India, has to compete for resources at every stage of life – nothing comes to those who wait. If you don’t push through, leave aside getting a seat on the bus; you will probably not even get on the bus. If you stick to driving in your lane and politely try to pass others, you probably won’t get anywhere. Unless you excel in school in some way, you will be starved for teacher’s attention. Unless you perform, and perform really well in school you will not have any kind of a career. This is the lesson you learn at every step – life is very competitive and it starts early. Even a small block party held in the neighborhood to celebrate a holiday will have some kind of competition for kids – poetry recitation, some sort of race etc. and only the winner gets a prize. Only success is rewarded and recognized; not perseverance, not hard work, not originality – only success. You do not have the freedom to fail, and learn from it. There are no second chances. To see how endemic this has become in the culture you only have to visit a “Chuck-E-Cheese” type game parlor. There you will see the store workers as well as parents helping each child to win as many tickets as possible so that they can get a big prize in the end. This is what brought it home for me finally as I had to keep telling surprised store workers to back off. They couldn’t understand why I didn’t want them to help my child win big!

This is the reason that parents start teaching babies the alphabet, the multiplication tables and seek out academic programs by the time the kids are 3, to give them a heads up later. It is easy to find math and zoology classes for 4 year-olds in India! There is no room or time for exploration – learn your facts so that you can ace that interview for a good elementary school. If you don’t get there in the first try, you don’t have any more chances. And if you don’t get in a good school, your chances in life start dwindling right away. If you don’t do well in your 10th grade finals, you lose the chance to ever study math and science in the grades ahead. There is no room for and no appreciation for creativity, and definitely no time for discovering and indulging in your passions. Most kids spend 2-3 hours every day after school in classes to help them perform better at school. Only winning matters – and this is instilled early and often.

My intention is not to insult my roots, or the system that got me where I am today. But I do think it is time to take some pressure off the children because it seems to just keep growing. Mention this to any Indian and they will point out how Indians win math and science competitions world-wide, and thank you very much, but it is a great system. Why do Indian kids win spelling bees and geography bees – not because they are any smarter but because their parents grew up in a culture where winning competitions and memorizing facts are the tickets to success. Most Indians follow successful careers in the US, but do they ever follow their passion? Do they ever blaze a new trail in their field?

There is some upside for a system like India’s. Children learn early that you don’t get anything for just showing up, you have to perform. I have never seen kids cry at a competition in India because they didn’t win. In the US we seem to have the opposite problem where kids think themselves too entitled. I have had 8yo burst into tears at birthday parties here because they didn’t win musical chairs, and only got the basic “goody bag”, not the special prize. The American public education system has so much focus on leveling the playing field, and catering to the average that exceptional kids often feel left out, unappreciated and bored.

Is it even possible to create a perfect system?

India and development

I made a short trip to Delhi recently and visited the Select City Walk mall. Except for the crowds, and the fact that you didn't have to bus your own tables at the food court, I might as well have been in a mall in the US. Same stores, similar styles, same restaurants. There is much more security of course - you have to pass through metal detectors and get your bags checked when entering the mall, a constant reminder of the terrorist threat that looms close. Same holds for the Delhi airport. I am still pleasantly surprised on every visit.

The newspaper stands are full of the same magazines - Vogue, Cosmo, Elle. Even the home-grown glossy Femina proclaims very Cosmo-like headlines about sex and fashion. There is a craze for brand-names even in little kids. Women dress in the latest styles. Even the leading conservative political party is having very GOP-like identity crisis.

Kids are eating too much junk food, watching too much TV and obesity is a real concern. Going out and playing however poses a problem. There aren't many open areas to play in. Given the heavy traffic, and lack of sidewalks etc. purposeful exercise such as riding a bike to school or walking to the store is impossible. Most houses don't have yards. Most urban kids live in apartment complexes making going out and playing even more difficult.

India is in a rush to Xerox the lifestyle that developed countries took decades to build. The breakneck pace of this development is leaving no room to ponder the downside or a concerted effort to preserve what is unique. Maybe India will continue to remain the mish-mash of old and new that I see now, or maybe our kids will never know what it means to shop at a sabzi mandi.

I still make sure I make a trip to the Haus Khas village and Aminabad before they too become festooned with McDee arches and become a picture postcard of their original self.

So many conflicting thoughts swirl in my mind these days, and NY Times' India correspondent expressed them better and more poetically than I ever could.

A third world country?

I am in India these days and I have to say the contrasts still amaze and sadden me at the same time.

Private enterprise is flourishing and carving out opportunities. I have been going to a club everyday to use the gym and marvel at the facilities there. There is a lovely pool, restaurant, spa etc. but more amazing to me is the fact that there are drinking fountains around the club, all hooked up to a state-of-the-art water filtration system. I just got a high speed satellite internet hook-up that I can use anywhere in the city. For the first time in all my visits, I actually saw street sweeping trucks on the roads. On a smaller scale somebody has setup a diminutive temple under a tree, just outside our neighborhood. Once a few people start visiting the idol, I am sure the shrine will slowly grow and not only a priest have found an income, but a piece of land would have been quietly acquired as nobody would dare demolish a temple. I am always impressed by the ingenuity of people.

However, it doesn't take too long to realize that there is a parallel third world country here too. There are piles of trash, and ragged little children playing in it. The drive from our house to the club is equally revealing. You pass scum covered ponds with water buffalo, and impromptu childcare by the side of a construction site - little kids watching even littler kids, on swings fashioned out of rags hung between two trees, while the mothers work carrying bricks on their heads. But then this is also the first time that I see street urchins dressed in jeans - maybe there is indeed a trickle down affect.

I couldn't help but agree with this article I just read about the state of India.

Personal responsibility

So I was talking to a relative who is on her first-ever visit to the US. She was amazed by the cleanliness. "There are neat little garden in front of every house and they are all so well-maintained. All houses have identical roofs and even the roofs are so clean!" she gushed. "The government must either be really good at maintaining everything or the laws about keeping things clean must be really strict, no?" She added.

I didn't say anything because I was not in a mood to lecture, but no, it is not the government. There is no "cleanliness police" going around cuffing people the instant they litter. Things are clean because littering, and people who litter, are frowned upon. It is the culture of the place - people like to keep their houses, their yards, their streets and their neighborhood clean, and do it themselves rather than waiting for the government to do it.

I had met another family member in India on my recent trip, and mentioned that my daughter was playing soccer in a league. She remarked "see that is why they have America is so good in sports, the government has such good sports programs." I had to point out that the government has nothing to do with it. The soccer league is organized by parents and for most part is managed by parents. The coaches are all parents that volunteer for the job and coach in their spare time.

That is when it struck me. The reason why India hasn't developed, (it hasn't, you ask. I can go into that in another blog or a book!) and still looks like a 3rd world country is exactly because of that mind-set. Complete ignorance of personal and civic responsibility and the expectation that the government will and should take care of everything. If we had more people such as my friend V, India might be a different place. When she sees a luxury car throwing litter out of its windows in the street of New Delhi, she chases down the car and tells the occupants what they just did. Unfortunately, many don't take her seriously, or say "what difference will another water bottle make" and never once feel a need to change their habits. You know, government is supposed to keep the streets clean!