Breaking the cycle

This past weekend my family found itself in the midst of a hands-on live nature display featuring snakes. We were encouraged to hold and handle the non-poisonous snakes. We thought this to be a great opportunity and all of us (one after a little encouragement) proceeded to hold and admire the snake. They were beautiful creatures, and feel very smooth and cool to touch. I took pictures of my daughters holding the snakes and posted them on Facebook, and the main theme of people's comments was about how brave my girls were. Bravery is a word I do not throw around carelessly, and given that the whole incident was rather matter of fact for us, I was surprised that handling snakes was considered that unusual. I know most women go eek at the sight of the smallest of creatures. I have always seen that as a conditioned response - we see other women in real life and in movies act like this so we automatically start behaving that way. Somebody has to break the cycle! I make a conscious effort to not freak out at the sight of a bug in front of my children - not that I am inclined to except at the sight of a certain centipede, but subconscious is a very strong thing. Now I have two girls who don't go eek and maybe the cycle will be broken.

Talking of cycles there is another one that I am trying to break. Growing up, my mother did all the household chores. Even us children were not expected to help, and although she complained sometimes she never asked for help. Consequently I grew up not knowing much about cooking or doing laundry. Strangely though, once I was married I took on all the housekeeping chores just as my mother had, and I know she was doing what her own mother had done. Having to do all these chores without knowing how to do them coupled with the responsibilities of a full-time job drove me right out of my mind. And yet it did not occur to me until recently that I should ensure that my daughters do not fall into the same trap i.e. not learning to take care of themselves and thinking that as the woman of the house they should do all the chores. The cycle must be broken! TO this end I am making an effort to ask for help and letting my husband do chores such as washing dishes, and have started expecting the girls to do their own laundry and keep their environs in order. Given how tedious it is to stay after kids asking them to pick up clothes off the floor and teaching them how to fold clothes and organize their drawers, I am not surprised that my mother did it all. I swear, I could get it all done faster and with much less aggravation if I did it myself, but I have to keep the long term goal in mind. Break the cycle!

Wisdom of the day

A long hike and a long run had many thoughts running through my head and then this one jelled. After a certain threshold, any further square footage of the house no longer nets any more happiness. In fact, there is a place between square footage and prosperity where the extra space eats up what you need for happiness - a few free hours.

Can we keep government out of our lives?

I have politics on my mind in the wake of the stunning results form the Massachusetts election. There are many reasons why Dems lost that election but I have serious doubts that there will be any serious introspection to analyze the causes among the career politicians. That is a topic for another day but today after getting an earful about the reason being public support for free-market economy and anger against socialism, I feel compelled to point out that whether we like it not government policy shapes our lives much more deeply than we realize. Let us examine some basic human necessities.

Food: Americans currently consume a heavily corn-based diet, not because they love it, or beacause it has been their staple diet for centuries or because they are aware of its health benefits or lack thereof. Corn is directly and indirectly in lot of our foods because corn is cheap, and corn is cheap not because market forces make it so but because of direct government subsidies.

Health: The present American health care system is as far from free-market system as could be. Even more socialist countries than the US have much more consumer-based health care systems. Let us examine the roots of this system. Most people in America afford their health-care because of insurance provided by their employers. The employer-funded health insurance system came about because in 1954 Congress passed a law making employer contributions to employee health plans tax-deductible without making the resulting benefits taxable to employees. In case of both Medicare and employer-based health insurance it is the government, that is directly or indirectly subsidizing health insurance, note that it is the insurance, not the care that is getting subsidized. However, this is also the reason why health care costs are getting out of control - the consumer is not directly exposed to the cost of the product they use, meaning that the health care system is not at all controlled by free-market forces. I encourage you to read this enlightening article if you want more.

Housing: It is the government tax subsidies, and the government's creation of entities such a Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae that enable the dream of home ownership for most Americans. These entities also assumed all the risk of the downside of these mortgages and thus turned mortgage-based bonds essentially into US Government backed bonds, which then Wall Street traded with impunity. Free market forces came into play and exploited a market that was skewed by the government.
Another facet of housing is the design of our towns and cities. Urban planning or lack thereof is caused by the fact that we can drive everywhere for cheap. If gasoline was expensive, we would have dense cities with public transit systems in a heartbeat. However, price of gasoline is not determined by free-market forces. Gasoline is kept cheap by the government.

I very much like individual accountability and responsibility but I do believe government plays a central role in the shaping the future, but career politicians intent on saving their jobs cannot look past the next election. Partisan hacks on one side will blame Coakley for losing and mock the idiots who voted for pickup-truck-driving-cosmo-centerfold, or on the other side heave a sigh of relief that now government will be kept out of health-care and Medicare will be saved!

I think we need drastic measures. A viable third party? Term limits in house & senate? Any ideas?

The size of a house

We start the search for a new house and hence these thoughts.

Smaller houses are easier to maintain, more energy efficient, easier to furnish and don't eat up all our money in mortgage. Should I really buy a bigger house just so that I can store all the "stuff" I have? Wouldn't it be better to just get rid of half the stuff, and get better organized with the rest of it. Who uses a formal living room anymore? Do I really need a separate guest bedroom when I have family visiting, maybe, twice a year. Couldn't I just install a Murphy Bed in the home office? I do work from home but what is my home office, but a desk with a computer. That could be easily fitted into an armoire in a corner of the family room. We live in a free country, where there is an amazing freedom of expression and choices, and people are not judged by the size of their house, usually. Of course small is a relative term - what I am calling small would be considered huge in Manhattan, but let's not digress.

It all makes practical sense. But what of the show-off value to my fellow countrymen from the old country? Tchk, thck...so shallow, you say. We are human after all, and so are all our friends and family who will judge us, and our success by the size of our houses & the price of our cars. And we will return the favor.

There are a a lot of people and not that much land in India, where I grew up. Growing up, my family of 5 lived in a two bedroom apartments. So did most of the people we knew. The fixtures and furnishings varied with the income level, of course. So having more space, in the old country, instantly shows that you have moved up in life. Consequently, most Indians who live in the US, buy the biggest house that they can afford, or maybe not afford.

Why - we don't do it for us, or even to show off to our friends here. We do it for the people back in India - the ones we love and who would like nothing more than to see that we are happy, and nothing more than to tell their friends how well their son or daughter is doing in America. "She has 5 bathrooms in her house". Wow. The little piece of information missing here is that she also has to clean all the 5 bathrooms herself! This show-off value, however, is not to be take lightly. All parents want their children to be successful in life and to have everyone else know that their children are indeed successful. They live so far away, the square footage of our house is an excellent gauge and something to brag about. So are swimming pools and German cars, but let us keep this discussion to houses for now.

There is no dearth of land here. In suburbia, sub-division after sub-division of huge houses are erected in no time at all. A large house isn't a big deal at all! And yet we try to buy the biggest house we can even to the point of inconveniencing ourselves. Those formal living rooms and dining rooms sit vacant, amassing toys, years after year. In our heart we know that we are running on the treadmill, and yet we can't get off. Such a tragedy.

And now back to the home listings.