Here are some recent dinner conversation at our house
DD 2: Where do babies come from?
Me: From mom's tummy.
DD 2: I know, but how do they come out of mom's tummy?
So I tell her where they come out from and her eyes widen in shock and amazement and then she responds..
DD 2: Can I choose to have my babies come out of my mouth instead?
Another day. We are eating pork chops, broccoli and pasta for dinner. The older one has just read a book with some stories about cats.
DD 1: I can't believe cats eat birds, the intestines and all the bird droppings in it. ew disgusting!
DD 2 (putting a piece of pork in her mouth and trying to say something to match the above statement): I can't believe we are eating something that came from a chicken. ew disgusting!
DD 1: From pigs, silly, pigs!
DD 2 (eyes wide in amazements) : What? Broccoli comes form pigs?!
I have imposed strict fines (deducted from their daily quota of screen-time) for infractions in table manners, also a reward if they can finish their meal with decent manners, so we have much less wriggling and jumping out of chairs every few minutes to fetch another spoon, and much more interesting conversations at dinner these days. Not sure if the above are appropriate for a meal-time but I'll take these over whining about food any day.
Raising kids in a non-native environment while constantly worrying about striking the right balance.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Friday, February 29, 2008
Disappointments
I was at child's birthday party and it was pretty standard. There were party games, some kid won but all kids got prizes so nobody got to feel special and nobody got hurt. In a way it is good that we are not instilling this winning and losing streak in little kids. I grew up in an ultra-competitive environment and I don't think that was healthy at all.
On the other hand I think that this "everybody wins" attitude is setting up our kids to never learn how to handle disappointment. As parents we need to teach our kids that bad things happen, we feel hurt but that is not the end of the world and life goes on. In real life, somebody, in fact, wins and somebody loses, and kids can learn that in birthday party games where the stakes are low, and the hurt small. Unless they go through little disappointments, they will never know how to handle them and also that this is a part of life.
Yesterday we got my daughter's favorite meal - McDonald's. After we got home we realized that a mistake was made in the order - not only did she not get a "girl" toy, they gave her the wrong food. She, of course, collapsed at the table crying and my first instinct was to say "let's go back and get this order sorted out." It wouldn't have been a big deal as we had no other plans that evening and not far to drive. Then I thought maybe here is a lesson to be learned - in checking your order and in learning to "make do". She cried, and that was very sad, but then she recovered and it wasn't so bad after all. Tough love, huh!
On the other hand I think that this "everybody wins" attitude is setting up our kids to never learn how to handle disappointment. As parents we need to teach our kids that bad things happen, we feel hurt but that is not the end of the world and life goes on. In real life, somebody, in fact, wins and somebody loses, and kids can learn that in birthday party games where the stakes are low, and the hurt small. Unless they go through little disappointments, they will never know how to handle them and also that this is a part of life.
Yesterday we got my daughter's favorite meal - McDonald's. After we got home we realized that a mistake was made in the order - not only did she not get a "girl" toy, they gave her the wrong food. She, of course, collapsed at the table crying and my first instinct was to say "let's go back and get this order sorted out." It wouldn't have been a big deal as we had no other plans that evening and not far to drive. Then I thought maybe here is a lesson to be learned - in checking your order and in learning to "make do". She cried, and that was very sad, but then she recovered and it wasn't so bad after all. Tough love, huh!
Thursday, January 31, 2008
I hate CNN
I don't watch TV and don't subscribe to newspapers preferring to get all my news online. Everyday I visit the websites of BBC news, New York times and CNN to see what is going on in the world. CNN's headlines are always about kids dying or being abused or being thrown of a bridge or something equally ghastly. It is horrible. At this very moment the headline at BBC is about a top al-Qaeda militant being killed and what is CNN leading with - Britney Spears' hospitalization! Oh I hate CNN. Wonder what people who watch CNN On TV think.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Gifts
Gift-giving and receiving is something that has been on my mind lately. For one, Christmas was not in so recent past and and secondly, my kids' birthdays are around the corner. It really irks me these days that people ask everybody, even little kids, what they want for a present. The kids describe what they want, down to the exact model and brand name and then get that exact thing for a present and everybody is happy. No awkward moments when a present is opened and we don't have to teach the kids about being gracious. Quick fix, instant gratification and life-lessons be damned. My kids are no exception. They believe that they have the right to tell everybody what they want and they will get it. It has now started bothering me enough to do something about it if all I am doing is ranting on my blog!
Presents are a privilege and not an entitlement. They are completely the gift-giver's prerogative. It, of course, behooves the gift-giver to put some thought into the matter and maybe try to know the receiver a little better. I think questions such as "what your interests are" are alright but that is where it should stop. By buying them the exact thing they want we adults deprive ourselves of an opportunity to broaden our kids' horizons, to show them something beyond their narrow field of vision. One of the best gifts my daughter ever received was a subscription to the Ladybug magazine. She did not even know the thing existed, and was disappointed when she saw that present because all she seemingly got was a card that said that she will be getting a magazine in the mail. That was three years ago. She still remembers that the subscription was a gift and looks forward to the magazine every month. Now that is what gift-giving is about. Why are we forgetting this and letting our kids hand us a shopping list before every Christmas and birthday. It doesn't smell right.
Presents are a privilege and not an entitlement. They are completely the gift-giver's prerogative. It, of course, behooves the gift-giver to put some thought into the matter and maybe try to know the receiver a little better. I think questions such as "what your interests are" are alright but that is where it should stop. By buying them the exact thing they want we adults deprive ourselves of an opportunity to broaden our kids' horizons, to show them something beyond their narrow field of vision. One of the best gifts my daughter ever received was a subscription to the Ladybug magazine. She did not even know the thing existed, and was disappointed when she saw that present because all she seemingly got was a card that said that she will be getting a magazine in the mail. That was three years ago. She still remembers that the subscription was a gift and looks forward to the magazine every month. Now that is what gift-giving is about. Why are we forgetting this and letting our kids hand us a shopping list before every Christmas and birthday. It doesn't smell right.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Asimilated yet Indian, continued....
A friend responded to my past posts about assimilation with this
"However, I think that in some ways it is important... bec one of the things that the kids will struggle with is definitely about how they fit in and knowing that they do somethings similar to their American classmates probably makes it is easier..... Who knows? I am just throwing this in the mix.... :)))) I was looking for a prayer that i could include b4 a meal...... We did one before school but not before a meal.... should look it up..."
This is the part that really becomes a huge dilemma. We want our kids to be assimilated, and not stick out like a sore thumb. But then if we just adopt the things that really were never part of our cultures, such as a prayer before a meal, then we won't be imparting a strong sense of identity either. I am sure, and rightly so, there are different schools of thought on this.
I, personally, feel that we should not adopt other traditions without giving some thought to why we are doing it and the long term impact of that decision. You know that old saying "nakal ke liye bhi akal chahiye". I take a lot of cues from the Jewish community. They have a much richer experience of being a minority, and yet maintaining their identity. For example, I noted that although Jewish holidays are not public holidays, most Jewish people don't come to work or school on those days. I like that idea so starting this year my family will take a holiday on Diwali. Kids will stay home from school and we will do something special together like making gulab jamuns and rangolis. I do buy sparklers and such on 4th of July and save them for Diwali. I also hang my "holiday lights" on Diwali and leave them on until after the New Year. This year instead of trying to squeeze all this in the evening after we are all tired form work and school, we will do it with more joy. Hopefully this will make Diwali more special in my kids' minds.
I so wish there was a big Hindu holiday during the so-called "Holiday season". That would make life so much more easier because I think one reason we embrace Christmas the way we do because there is a vacuum, and of course that jolly guy in the red suit that kids can't stay away from.
"However, I think that in some ways it is important... bec one of the things that the kids will struggle with is definitely about how they fit in and knowing that they do somethings similar to their American classmates probably makes it is easier..... Who knows? I am just throwing this in the mix.... :))))
This is the part that really becomes a huge dilemma. We want our kids to be assimilated, and not stick out like a sore thumb. But then if we just adopt the things that really were never part of our cultures, such as a prayer before a meal, then we won't be imparting a strong sense of identity either. I am sure, and rightly so, there are different schools of thought on this.
I, personally, feel that we should not adopt other traditions without giving some thought to why we are doing it and the long term impact of that decision. You know that old saying "nakal ke liye bhi akal chahiye". I take a lot of cues from the Jewish community. They have a much richer experience of being a minority, and yet maintaining their identity. For example, I noted that although Jewish holidays are not public holidays, most Jewish people don't come to work or school on those days. I like that idea so starting this year my family will take a holiday on Diwali. Kids will stay home from school and we will do something special together like making gulab jamuns and rangolis. I do buy sparklers and such on 4th of July and save them for Diwali. I also hang my "holiday lights" on Diwali and leave them on until after the New Year. This year instead of trying to squeeze all this in the evening after we are all tired form work and school, we will do it with more joy. Hopefully this will make Diwali more special in my kids' minds.
I so wish there was a big Hindu holiday during the so-called "Holiday season". That would make life so much more easier because I think one reason we embrace Christmas the way we do because there is a vacuum, and of course that jolly guy in the red suit that kids can't stay away from.
Friday, October 19, 2007
House cleaning
"If you want to see me. come on over. If you want to see my house, call ahead."
I read this somewhere on the internet and really liked it. I need to remember this because sometimes I can get the "Martha Stewart Syndrome".
A house with kids and parents, who'd rather do other things than clean, can get messy. I continually fret that I haven't taught my kids to pick up after themselves because I never have the patience to work with them on it. I can do it much faster and there is no yelling involved (except at hubby dear for not pitching in) so peace for all.
Now that the kids are getting older and bit more capable, I have started to ask them to pick up. Hopefully they will learn. Oh, I have occasional what my kids call "crazy days" where I grab a box and throw all their toys in and head out to the garage. Then they pick up in a hurry. I just wish I could do this more calmly rather than like the "crazy lady"!
The second best cleaning tip I have heard is "have someone else do it" and I usually do leave everything for the cleaning lady. I wish there was a similar service for picking up toys off the floor. sigh.
I read this somewhere on the internet and really liked it. I need to remember this because sometimes I can get the "Martha Stewart Syndrome".
A house with kids and parents, who'd rather do other things than clean, can get messy. I continually fret that I haven't taught my kids to pick up after themselves because I never have the patience to work with them on it. I can do it much faster and there is no yelling involved (except at hubby dear for not pitching in) so peace for all.
Now that the kids are getting older and bit more capable, I have started to ask them to pick up. Hopefully they will learn. Oh, I have occasional what my kids call "crazy days" where I grab a box and throw all their toys in and head out to the garage. Then they pick up in a hurry. I just wish I could do this more calmly rather than like the "crazy lady"!
The second best cleaning tip I have heard is "have someone else do it" and I usually do leave everything for the cleaning lady. I wish there was a similar service for picking up toys off the floor. sigh.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Food for thought
Kids amaze me. I wish I could get into their little brain computer and print out a detailed log of processes!
I made cheeseburgers and steamed broccoli for dinner yesterday and my kids were excited about it. They happily ate their dinner without me ever having to ask them to eat some more. We had pleasant conversation at the table, you know, how one expects dinnertime to be. Even more surprising is the fact that I haven't made cheeseburgers in months, so this is a relatively new food for my kids, who like all children frown at all new food!
For as long as I know I have made Indian food for dinner so logically one would expect that, Indian food is what my kids like and would eat regularly! After all that is what they see on their plates every single day. And yet my kids usually come to dinner with long faces when they see Indian food on the table. They are both under 7, mind you, and not yet at an age where they are hanging out at friends' and seeing what they eat. Then I make cheeseburgers and they are excited about dinner.
Somebody please give me a manual. This is beyond me!!!
I made cheeseburgers and steamed broccoli for dinner yesterday and my kids were excited about it. They happily ate their dinner without me ever having to ask them to eat some more. We had pleasant conversation at the table, you know, how one expects dinnertime to be. Even more surprising is the fact that I haven't made cheeseburgers in months, so this is a relatively new food for my kids, who like all children frown at all new food!
For as long as I know I have made Indian food for dinner so logically one would expect that, Indian food is what my kids like and would eat regularly! After all that is what they see on their plates every single day. And yet my kids usually come to dinner with long faces when they see Indian food on the table. They are both under 7, mind you, and not yet at an age where they are hanging out at friends' and seeing what they eat. Then I make cheeseburgers and they are excited about dinner.
Somebody please give me a manual. This is beyond me!!!
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